What the fuck?

There's a few taboo for girlfriends that usually piss guys off. Including mine.

1 - Never ever invade privacy. Drawing a line ever since she started going thru my phone conversations, accusing me of flirting with my own cousin without bothering on finding facts. Now everybody tells me to leave her if she can't respect that.

2 - Bringing up the past. Never dig up the past of previous relationships. Guys just want to move on. You want the past? You won't like what you'll find.

3 - Comparing themselves with other girls. You can't expect guys to treat every girls there same way as they've treated their ex-girlfriends. Not everyone got the chance to meet the family.

4 - Crybabies. Crying don't solve problems, crying with the boyfriend can't change that.

5 - Insecurities. Seriously, if you feel insecure while the guys trust the girls to be independent, you're in for a boat ride. Enough of the girls are emotional bull crap. You want equality. This is what equality is.

6 - Crazies. Basically includes all of the above. That is the number one defacto means of ending a relationship.

7 - Best friend situation. Real friends are those who speak the truth, not what you wanted to hear. If both friends are ugly, obviously they won't be telling the truth to each other.

We all have our limits. But prefer to calm the fuck down, find a way and fix the problem than to cry and go crazy digging up the past.

You can cry all you want, but that doesn't help, and shows your sense of insecurity and inferior complexity. Which comes down to one thing, you're too dependent on people to get things done for you.

People always claim they handled their own problems. With WHAT?! TEARS? that is the stupidest joke of the century. Grow up.

These are all the red flags for me. I have better things to do. I can't attend to all your needs just because you need to. I got other friends, things to be done, things to look out for. If you can't deal with your own shit, see a doctor.

Holding hands. I chose not to because everytime, your clumsy movements made me twisted my ankles. You think its so cute when you held my arms? That's what put me on the bloody wheelchair. Have you even consider other people when walking? Why must it always be beside me? And block the entire door?

Kiss? You hurt my neck. Just because you're short doesn't give you the rights to grab my neck by force.  Also you're heavy.

Boohoo! You're sad because other people screwed up and you can't take the heat for anything. You chose to do it your way, which isn't working. And what gives? You want a nice new year eve, I go look for nice restaurants. Now you want to say I'm not there for you.

I'm done here. Enough of crazies for this year.
I can foresee you won't be joining me in celebrations. Because most likely my friends don't want you around given the way things are going.

Yes, this includes friends in the comic store.

Life

I can't believe, that it took me 34 years to appreciate what my mom did for us.
All the sacrifices, which I didn't acknowledge. Instead, I've been an asshole in my entire life.
Only recently, I thought of it, and seeing that she's not getting any younger, made me feel worse than ever.
When I was younger, I was like "So what?". Now, it's like the biggest regret I've ever had.

And I paid her a visit last week, with some of her favourite fruits. She gave me an early birthday present despite everything that happened... [I see that you felt great remorse over that]
Every year she sent me birthday greetings, every year I ignored it. This sunk my heart even more. To make it worse, the present is a huge fraction of her income... ["Nothin' beats a mother's love" they say..]

I'm gonna give her something bigger this year, on top of a red packet.
I'm totally confused on why I used to do such things [ahhh... the wonders of youth]
I know. But I sucked as a son, and also as a youth. Many times I wish I could turn back time, and undo all those disappointments I've caused to her. [do you really thing it's a great idea?]
Yeah, that's all I've ever wanted deep down inside. I've failed her as the elder son. Now all I can do is to salvage the broken pieces, paying more attention to her and my brother.

And now, I've made another mistake... I gotta focus back in clearing my debts from next month onwards after my birthday trip. Stop trying to impress and do what I gotta do. Upgrading myself has been delayed for 4 years... Better not delay it any longer. [And the recent events, hope it's not gonna obstruct you in any way]

I don't really know if there's anything else I can do for them... just do what I gotta do.
[That's the most heartly talk you've had in years... *sob*]

Lovin' it

Been thru a couple of things these days.

1 - New job. Thou the pay is sucky and being the headcount of some dodgy company worries me, but it's a fresh new start. Thou I am still doing research for malware analysis (Even thou, gaming seems kinda fun) [Aren't you forgetting something? That's been taking up most of your time lately?] Shut up and let me finish.

2 - Screwing my life, resetting my new social circle again. It's true I've met a bunch of females, but something tells me to ditch them all. I did (aaawwweee, but Summer's cute and awesome) yeah, but I gotta let  her go. [You're almost there, dumbass] And that brings me right to the next big thing.

3 - Relationship with someone much stable. Yeah, it's a short affair to begin with. But since we hit it well, with many things in common. Why not? Right? [Even thou it can be fustratin'..] (BUT, these r 'bout to happen right?) Yeah. Just let it go where it needs to go.

Now, communicating with new co-workers just gets better. Even thou one of them left. [Technically he's from another company] But I've learnt the processes from him. [You really think so?] Yeah sure. (I think we're pretty awesome the way we are) Shut up.

So anyway, it's mother's day. Got my mom a little present. Again got shit from my dad. (Why can't he accept the fact that he owes you after all the childhood turmoil?) Nah. Old man's just stubborn.

Doing what I wanna do!

Now, just before quitting my job, I did a couple of things.

#1 Meeting new people, especially females. Ever since she said it's the end of our relationship since I'm looking for a stable one, I've decided, meet up with people for movies and dinner. As usual, meet new people, and disappear. Since they're too bored for me.

#2 New business venture. Now, almost got played out, by someone, I headed towards plan B. Another friend from the previous office. Now we're working on plans to push out 3D printing, but seems like someone else already beaten us to it. But I'll still do it anyway, what's the worse that can happen eh? We'll just head up north and south, even to the Philippines (sounds awesome).

#3 New job. Yup, I've changed my job. More pay, much lesser work (practically close to none). Met this awesome dude, but too bad their contract are over in a couple of months more.

#4 Picked up Diablo 3. Yup, ever since the launch of the expansion, I've decided to pick it up. Spent the entire yesterday, reaching Act 4. Only thing that stands is Diablo himself, and of course, the reaper of soul.

#5 I got myself a new phone for X'mas. Did I mentioned that before? And it's awesome. Except for the WiFi keep restarting my phone issue. Neh... I guess I'll stick to it till my new upgrade eh?

#6 Back on track with family. Getting closer back to family again. What's there need to be said? Had a lil' too much to drink during the Reunion dinner. Yup, that bottle of Sake is fine...

#7 Well, I'll just leave this entry to be empty for now.

Yup, life is great. Gone with the fucked-ups, in with the better ones. That's my philosophy for now. And I can smell a couple of scandals in my new job.

Better

After we ended all these, back to my normal life. Changed my phone, got the new lens, maybe even the new iPad air. Life is finally getting better with lesser worries.
Just keep focusing on my job.

About me

Never a good boyfriend, high expectations of everyone. Hard to please.

Who am I?

I really start to think continuing this relationship is a big mistake.
So much as "I miss you" before she came back.
The moment she touched down, she's so cold to me as usual. I really think she's just bullshitting me all along. Wasting my time.

Keep challenging me, say NO the moment she knew it's a family dinner together.
No kisses, no hugs, no pleasant words. Just meet for dinner, watch movies, sleep. Feels as if she's taking me for a ride.

Am I still considered as her boyfriend? For real?

Or her friend has been stalking my private information like this blog for instance, and trying to break us up. For what? Just want her to be as miserable as she is.

I know I'm not the best guy around, but at least I bothered to plan steps ahead when it comes to her.

This is really going downhill. I don't know how can I continue to live with this. I can say, in a few months later when she's bad, it's gonna get worse I tell'ya.