tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-75597265246147750182024-02-20T13:13:15.716-08:00Rants of a madmanAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12825296864880454104noreply@blogger.comBlogger45125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7559726524614775018.post-39722753665993655522014-12-05T08:26:00.001-08:002014-12-05T08:30:10.544-08:00What the fuck?<p dir="ltr">There's a few taboo for girlfriends that usually piss guys off. Including mine.</p>
<p dir="ltr">1 - Never ever invade privacy. Drawing a line ever since she started going thru my phone conversations, accusing me of flirting with my own cousin without bothering on finding facts. Now everybody tells me to leave her if she can't respect that.</p>
<p dir="ltr">2 - Bringing up the past. Never dig up the past of previous relationships. Guys just want to move on. You want the past? You won't like what you'll find.</p>
<p dir="ltr">3 - Comparing themselves with other girls. You can't expect guys to treat every girls there same way as they've treated their ex-girlfriends. Not everyone got the chance to meet the family.</p>
<p dir="ltr">4 - <u>Crybabies</u>. Crying don't solve problems, crying with the boyfriend can't change that.</p>
<p dir="ltr">5 - Insecurities. Seriously, if you feel insecure while the guys trust the girls to be independent, you're in for a boat ride. Enough of the girls are emotional bull crap. You want equality. This is what equality is.</p>
<p dir="ltr">6 - Crazies. Basically includes all of the above. That is the number one defacto means of ending a relationship.</p>
<p dir="ltr">7 - Best friend situation. Real friends are those who speak the truth, not what you wanted to hear. If both friends are ugly, obviously they won't be telling the truth to each other.</p>
<p dir="ltr">We all have our limits. But prefer to calm the fuck down, find a way and fix the problem than to cry and go crazy digging up the past.</p>
<p dir="ltr">You can cry all you want, but that doesn't help, and shows your sense of insecurity and inferior complexity. Which comes down to one thing, you're too dependent on people to get things done for you.</p>
<p dir="ltr">People always claim they handled their own problems. With WHAT?! TEARS? that is the stupidest joke of the century. Grow up.</p>
<p dir="ltr">These are all the red flags for me. I have better things to do. I can't attend to all your needs just because you need to. I got other friends, things to be done, things to look out for. If you can't deal with your own shit, see a doctor.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Holding hands. I chose not to because everytime, your clumsy movements made me twisted my ankles. You think its so cute when you held my arms? That's what put me on the bloody wheelchair. Have you even consider other people when walking? Why must it always be beside me? And block the entire door?</p>
<p dir="ltr">Kiss? You hurt my neck. Just because you're short doesn't give you the rights to grab my neck by force.  Also you're heavy.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Boohoo! You're sad because other people screwed up and you can't take the heat for anything. You chose to do it your way, which isn't working. And what gives? You want a nice new year eve, I go look for nice restaurants. Now you want to say I'm not there for you.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I'm done here. Enough of crazies for this year.<br>
I can foresee you won't be joining me in celebrations. Because most likely my friends don't want you around given the way things are going.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Yes, this includes friends in the comic store.</p>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12825296864880454104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7559726524614775018.post-1348158133886132372014-08-17T09:59:00.001-07:002014-08-17T10:02:29.304-07:00Life<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I can't believe, that it took me 34 years to appreciate what my mom did for us.<br />
All the sacrifices, which I didn't acknowledge. Instead, I've been an asshole in my entire life.<br />
Only recently, I thought of it, and seeing that she's not getting any younger, made me feel worse than ever.<br />
When I was younger, I was like "So what?". Now, it's like the biggest regret I've ever had.<br />
<br />
And I paid her a visit last week, with some of her favourite fruits. She gave me an early birthday present despite everything that happened...<span style="background-color: yellow; color: #444444;"> [I see that you felt great remorse over that]</span><br />
Every year she sent me birthday greetings, every year I ignored it. This sunk my heart even more. To make it worse, the present is a huge fraction of her income... <span style="background-color: yellow; color: #444444;">["Nothin' beats a mother's love" they say..]</span><br />
<br />
I'm gonna give her something bigger this year, on top of a red packet.<br />
I'm totally confused on why I used to do such things <span style="background-color: yellow; color: #444444;">[ahhh... the wonders of youth]</span><br />
I know. But I sucked as a son, and also as a youth. Many times I wish I could turn back time, and undo all those disappointments I've caused to her.<span style="background-color: yellow; color: #444444;"> [do you really thing it's a great idea?]</span><br />
Yeah, that's all I've ever wanted deep down inside. I've failed her as the elder son. Now all I can do is to salvage the broken pieces, paying more attention to her and my brother.<br />
<br />
And now, I've made another mistake... I gotta focus back in clearing my debts from next month onwards after my birthday trip. Stop trying to impress and do what I gotta do. Upgrading myself has been delayed for 4 years... Better not delay it any longer. <span style="background-color: yellow; color: #444444;">[And the recent events, hope it's not gonna obstruct you in any way]</span><br />
<br />
I don't really know if there's anything else I can do for them... just do what I gotta do.<br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444;">[That's the most heartly talk you've had in years... *sob*]</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12825296864880454104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7559726524614775018.post-62161561288921682032014-05-11T09:36:00.002-07:002014-05-11T09:43:07.729-07:00Lovin' it<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Been thru a couple of things these days.<br />
<br />
1 - New job. Thou the pay is sucky and being the headcount of some dodgy company worries me, but it's a fresh new start. Thou I am still doing research for malware analysis <span style="background-color: #f3f3f3; color: #666666;">(Even thou, gaming seems kinda fun) </span><span style="background-color: yellow;"><span style="color: #666666;">[Aren't you forgetting something? That's been taking up most of your time lately?]</span></span> Shut up and let me finish.<br />
<br />
2 - Screwing my life, resetting my new social circle again. It's true I've met a bunch of females, but something tells me to ditch them all. I did <span style="background-color: #f3f3f3; color: #666666;">(aaawwweee, but Summer's cute and awesome)</span> yeah, but I gotta let her go. <span style="background-color: yellow; color: #666666;">[You're almost there, dumbass]</span> And that brings me right to the next big thing.<br />
<br />
3 - Relationship with someone much stable. Yeah, it's a short affair to begin with. But since we hit it well, with many things in common. Why not? Right?<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="background-color: yellow;"> </span><span style="background-color: yellow;">[Even thou it can be fustratin'..]</span></span> <span style="background-color: #f3f3f3;"><span style="color: #666666;">(BUT, these r 'bout to happen right?) </span></span>Yeah. Just let it go where it needs to go.<br />
<br />
Now, communicating with new co-workers just gets better. Even thou one of them left.<span style="background-color: yellow; color: #666666;"> [Technically he's from another company]</span><span style="color: yellow;"> </span>But I've learnt the processes from him.<span style="background-color: yellow; color: #666666;"> [You really think so?]</span> Yeah sure. <span style="background-color: #f3f3f3;"><span style="color: #666666;">(I think we're pretty awesome the way we are)</span></span> Shut up.<br />
<br />
So anyway, it's mother's day. Got my mom a little present. Again got shit from my dad.<span style="background-color: #f3f3f3; color: #666666;"> (Why can't he accept the fact that he owes you after all the childhood turmoil?)</span> Nah. Old man's just stubborn.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12825296864880454104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7559726524614775018.post-83230083399461511602014-03-30T19:44:00.000-07:002014-03-30T19:47:01.918-07:00Doing what I wanna do!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Now, just before quitting my job, I did a couple of things.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
#1 Meeting new people, especially females. Ever since she said it's the end of our relationship since I'm looking for a stable one, I've decided, meet up with people for movies and dinner. As usual, meet new people, and disappear. Since they're too bored for me.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
#2 New business venture. Now, almost got played out, by someone, I headed towards plan B. Another friend from the previous office. Now we're working on plans to push out 3D printing, but seems like someone else already beaten us to it. But I'll still do it anyway, what's the worse that can happen eh? We'll just head up north and south, even to the Philippines (sounds awesome).</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
#3 New job. Yup, I've changed my job. More pay, much lesser work (practically close to none). Met this awesome dude, but too bad their contract are over in a couple of months more.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
#4 Picked up Diablo 3. Yup, ever since the launch of the expansion, I've decided to pick it up. Spent the entire yesterday, reaching Act 4. Only thing that stands is Diablo himself, and of course, the reaper of soul.</div>
<div>
<br />
#5 I got myself a new phone for X'mas. Did I mentioned that before? And it's awesome. Except for the WiFi keep restarting my phone issue. Neh... I guess I'll stick to it till my new upgrade eh?<br />
<br />
#6 Back on track with family. Getting closer back to family again. What's there need to be said? Had a lil' too much to drink during the Reunion dinner. Yup, that bottle of Sake is fine...<br />
<br /></div>
<div>
#7 Well, I'll just leave this entry to be empty for now.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Yup, life is great. Gone with the fucked-ups, in with the better ones. That's my philosophy for now. And I can smell a couple of scandals in my new job.</div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12825296864880454104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7559726524614775018.post-46307111369721103012013-12-27T10:03:00.001-08:002013-12-27T10:04:18.156-08:00Better<p dir="ltr">After we ended all these, back to my normal life. Changed my phone, got the new lens, maybe even the new iPad air. Life is finally getting better with lesser worries.<br>
Just keep focusing on my job.<br>
</p>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12825296864880454104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7559726524614775018.post-47952656815583810542013-10-01T08:20:00.000-07:002013-10-01T08:20:02.622-07:00About me<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Never a good boyfriend, high expectations of everyone. Hard to please.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12825296864880454104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7559726524614775018.post-77419885742224847532013-09-30T09:19:00.001-07:002013-09-30T09:19:36.788-07:00Who am I?<p dir=ltr>I really start to think continuing this relationship is a big mistake.<br>
So much as "I miss you" before she came back.<br>
The moment she touched down, she's so cold to me as usual. I really think she's just bullshitting me all along. Wasting my time.</p>
<p dir=ltr>Keep challenging me, say NO the moment she knew it's a family dinner together.<br>
No kisses, no hugs, no pleasant words. Just meet for dinner, watch movies, sleep. Feels as if she's taking me for a ride.</p>
<p dir=ltr>Am I still considered as her boyfriend? For real?</p>
<p dir=ltr>Or her friend has been stalking my private information like this blog for instance, and trying to break us up. For what? Just want her to be as miserable as she is.</p>
<p dir=ltr>I know I'm not the best guy around, but at least I bothered to plan steps ahead when it comes to her.</p>
<p dir=ltr>This is really going downhill. I don't know how can I continue to live with this. I can say, in a few months later when she's bad, it's gonna get worse I tell'ya.</p>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12825296864880454104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7559726524614775018.post-60718957241372869802013-09-01T11:08:00.001-07:002013-09-01T11:08:38.047-07:00And now... About my work<p dir=ltr>Work has been better. You know, having someone not as knowledgable in technical terms as a leader, really kinda ticks me off. But!!! I've play nice.</p>
<p dir=ltr>Few days ago, he asked for my feedback. I told him that he's too nice to the big asshole, instead of learning to reject him once in a while, unlike his predecessor.<br>
But of course, I couldn't just call him a big loser. It's not even fair to him.</p>
<p dir=ltr>Had a couple of new co-workers, there's this new guy, who is kinda like me, but of course, not as logical and capable of survival skills like me. But I kinda appreciate his enthusiasm thou.<br>
Yeah yeah, I call him something else behind his back, but then again, I kinda understand his background. Reminds me of myself when I was younger.<br>
I started to keep myself in check, show him the ropes and try to guide, and groom him bit by bit.</p>
<p dir=ltr>There's many things about me, being a good and a bad person. But this dude makes me at least try to be nice and patient. I guess I've found a successor after all.</p>
<p dir=ltr>Yeah sometimes, the way he handle things, made me wanna call him a nutjob. But then again, he needs an opportunity to shine. There it is, right off the bat. I'm going easy on him. But starting tomorrow, he'll have to start to fend off the sharks.</p>
<p dir=ltr>I can't be there to help him forever.</p>
<p dir=ltr>One thing I can't stand is, him telling me that I should go for professional certificates. Unlike him, I prefer to really understand things than just to get certificates.</p>
<p dir=ltr>This is the part which I love about my job... uniquely challenging.<br>
Even without attending the courses, I've written 2 guides so far. Even though it's rather basic, but still considered as bread'n'butter for malware analysis in our environment.</p>
<p dir=ltr>Meantime, I'll still try my best to guide him whenever I can. As for the rest, we all have a lot to learn from one another.</p>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12825296864880454104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7559726524614775018.post-68492693386927576072013-09-01T10:57:00.001-07:002013-09-01T10:57:40.200-07:00Another day<p dir=ltr>Things were rather smooth for me. </p>
<p dir=ltr>Went out with this girl. A bit on the 'Fat' factor. I don't mind. But anyway, she doesn't seem to be that keen on both occassions.</p>
<p dir=ltr>Met Serina for dinner at a Mexican restaurant. Things were great, although I can't really make it for the horror movie date shortly after.</p>
<p dir=ltr>My Ex wants to be together again. Seriously, I'll just wait for that stupid idiot to be back on October, use her to transport my stuff back here, and get back my other stuff. Then, I'll dump her for good. It's either me, or that slut she calls as a friend.</p>
<p dir=ltr>Been paying my mom a visit on a weekly basis for last month. And getting to know this young girl.</p>
<p dir=ltr>This girl, sounds innocent at first, but as days went by, boy! She's one lady with high sex drive, but low in confidence. Now I'm trying to get to know her better. Is she going to end up being my next girlfriend? I have no idea. I'm pretty interested in her other qualities thou. You know, able to make talks and such. Hopefully not to end up like that previous wretch.</p>
<p dir=ltr>I'm dead on serious about Serina, but there's no sparks between the both of us. Everything seems pretty casual, along with her busy schedule, in both work and social, I'm not very sure if I can start to settle down with her.</p>
<p dir=ltr>As for my other ex. Always got time for all sorts of trips, but just no time for me. Celebrate my birthday? My Ass. It's always disappointment year after year. Think I'll keep her around as friends with benefits. Boy I miss her firm boobs.<br>
</p>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12825296864880454104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7559726524614775018.post-41269848067670965542013-07-07T09:31:00.000-07:002013-07-07T09:31:26.418-07:00Now...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
After a dramatic month, I've managed to pay off some bills and shit.<br />
And I find this new girl to be rather.... irritating. You know, showing concern, and stuff like that. I'm not the type of person who will fall for that. I appreciate it at first, but it gets overwhelming, I literally told her to fuck off.<br />
Aaaaand she's gone. My life is quiet once again, and it feels really good.<br />
<br />
And now, the previous bitch still refuses to return my stuff back to me.<br />
I remember she told me not to worry, and she WILL return all my stuff to me. That was in March. And back in May, she said the same thing. Now, it's July. Nothing back from that bitch.<br />
<br />
Out of boredom, I decided to send her another e-mail again, to remind her.<br />
<br />
Yeah I don't wish for her to keep anything that belongs to me. Seriously, if I can't really have her heart, might as well burn it all. She's as good as dead to me really.<br />
<br />
Oooo I can't really wait to see her reply. It's gonna hurt deep. But hey, an EX is still an EX. No point being nice to each other after all those shit she's put me thru. I bet she found someone else to leave her legs wide open for.<br />
<br />
And now enough about her, me, I met someone else for movie, can't really stand her sacarsm, while I was just trying to be nice, guess I won't be seeing her again.<br />
Another one, but as always, stupid and dump, late as usual, can't stop window shopping as if I'm her fuckin' boyfriend. I'm not her boyfriend, and why would I need to accompany her in shopping? Meh.<br />
<br />
As for my other ex, always busy, being nice to every other people, and acts as an asshole towards me.<br />
Neglected me, and only bother to be nice to me, attend to me with the intention of getting a loan from me. This isn't the first time it happens, and if I loan her the money, most probably she'll just be busy all over again, and ignored me. So, consider her gone as well. As for those stupid kitties I've bought? Guess I'll save it for my other agenda.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12825296864880454104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7559726524614775018.post-88704900327232411302013-06-17T10:42:00.001-07:002013-06-17T10:42:12.123-07:00Tempting<p>Yeah I've been neglected, so I guess it's time I start off with someone else. Really!</p>
<p>The feeling of someone looking forward in getting your attention is nice and warm. You know, it's like, homely feel. But I gotta keep myself in check. </p>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12825296864880454104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7559726524614775018.post-39794329634152833442013-06-04T19:40:00.001-07:002013-06-04T19:40:43.156-07:00Just another day<p>Again, I have no idea what I should do at work, I just feel lost these days. Trying to get my shit together.</p>
<p>Gotta cash the cheque and pay my bills. I hope everything goes well for me, I mean Seriously!!</p>
<p>This meeting doesn't really do any good.<br>
And did I just heard 'sluts' instead of 'slides'?</p>
<p>Powerpoint sluts? haha!</p>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12825296864880454104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7559726524614775018.post-3141539954039863592013-06-03T19:29:00.001-07:002013-06-03T19:35:59.458-07:00Don't feel like doing anything<p>Yup, I've said it. Don't feel like doing anything at work. I don't know why. But I've lost the motivation to keep trying. Its like I'm no good at doing anything.</p>
<p>And it's been weeks, still no news.of her returning my stuff. Damn it. That stupid bitch. It's over between us. I don't have any intention of looking back.</p>
<p>No burdens, no worries. Don't want to be reminded how pissed I get everytime.</p>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12825296864880454104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7559726524614775018.post-43686968816921444092013-05-16T03:55:00.001-07:002013-05-16T03:57:21.674-07:00Stop giving!Just a couple of weeks ago, I told her that I want my things back, and I will send her back her things once she's given me her address.<br />
But NO!!! This time, she wants to be back together. Sorry, there's someone else willing to give in.<br />
At first, I never said that I want to be back. I just said that I hate to make her sad again. And she assumes that we're back together.<br />
<br />
Great for her, kept telling me the usual good night, love this and that shit. No real conversation over here.<br />
I'm starting to get tired of receiving her voice messages. Started to tell her to stop doing it, since I can't be bothered for real.<br />
<br />
And now, she's saying that my words a hurtful, and would rather I ditch her than to kill her slowly. THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I INTENDED TO DO IN THE FIRST PLACE!! STUPID FUCK!!!<br />
<br />
I don't care even if she had another car accident last night. She's always too stupid to watch the fuckin' road!!! She can die there if she wants to, I don't care!!<br />
<br />
And I'm tired of this shit with her keep asking me when do I want to visit her. I'm not interested in travelling just because of her. She blew it the last round, and I am definitely not going to spend so much time and money just to get myself pissed over there.<br />
<br />
Yeah she can't come back, but so what? It has nothing to do with me! All I wanted is a clean break. Nothing more to do with each other. The End. Period. Passe~ Whatever.<br />
<br />
If she can't even let me feel secured in the relationship, without letting her friend interfere with our lives, I would have given it one more shot. BUT NO!!! I'm not going to do it. Enough is enough.<br />
<br />
My life is getting better, I just got promoted. Deleted all our photos together, moving on into a better lifestyle. <br />
Heck, my bonus is coming next week and I can't wait to knock off some bills. And I got my mom an iPad mini for mother's day last week. Everything went better ever since that broke up. It's not the end of the world, or anything close.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12825296864880454104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7559726524614775018.post-2477589524610171762013-05-02T00:11:00.001-07:002013-05-02T00:11:07.102-07:00Life goes on<p>Now, my contract is almost up, offered miserable increment, which I'm not pleased even a little bit. And now further news till date. Gotta job hunt for a while.</p>
<p>And after given myself some thoughts for the past 7 weeks since the broke up, I've decided to end this.<br>
Wanted to get her address so I can return her things, and hope to get back mine, she wanted to do it in person.<br>
By that time comes, its next year. Now I'm not keen in waiting, tired of waiting. I just want to get it done and over with.</p>
<p>Now she claims she love me as always, bullshit.<br>
She loves her friend more than anything else, and she called me useless, no good for her, nothing good in me. Fine.<br>
I don't really care. I don't wish to see her.<br>
She started a drama, which obviously I'm not even keen on. Just want to get her address, and get over it.</p>
<p>Yeah she informed me that they're extending her stay for another 6 months. Honestly, since the breakup, its got nothing to do with me.<br>
Now I'm starting to put myself together, start seeing other people, and forget about this fucked up relationship. </p>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12825296864880454104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7559726524614775018.post-30029005823954104272013-04-14T09:49:00.001-07:002013-04-14T09:49:45.147-07:00Another day of WTF<p>Ooook... Coolest stuff, got to learn something on this spur-of-the moment trip to Kuala Lumpur.<br>
Shit happens, ya'know. Security issues and all.<br>
Good point is, I've got more stuff to learn and pushing my brain cells to finally start working.</p>
<p>Met another of my ex-girlfriend for dinner, and we patched up somehow. She still insists that I'm the only person who bothers to make her smile and stuff.</p>
<p>Anyway, she did sent us off all the way to the boarding stages after all.</p>
<p>Touched down, thought of the worst possible happened. Tried my own way of tracking down those fuckin' bits and found only a couple of exploits on my own. Of course I just said negative. But the truth is very disturbing.<br>
As if I'm not having enough headaches, there comes another competition that decided to play in my porch.<br>
Now I ain't gonna be no skitty-skatty kat friendly on'em.</p>
<p>It was my freakin' third day, aaaand it kinda spoilt my day.<br>
Some bitch'ass boss decided to said I didn't bothered to do a lot of stuff. And the user can claim that I didn't do anything at all.<br>
Now what I did, is just do what I can to meet up to the home-based personals' standards, and put them as priority.<br>
Aaaand that's it. After that, it's just simply adios Brasilia, good luck with that ziggadooo place.</p>
<p>Anyway, I've been reading up on how to use the tools. Getting to analyze the data isn't part of my plan yet. Decided to start doing that next week.</p>
<p>Sometimes, I do love my job to a certain extend.<br>
Piiggla-ganga, bitches!!!</p>
<p>Been trying to learn how to perform memory dump forensics. But I'm still no good at it. I guess it's back to the textbook.<br>
This weekend, I'm slacking my way off.<br>
Just had a little bit of motivation left for a Monday.</p>
<p>Becoming less crazy just isn't my style.<br>
Now I'm feeling real broke. And my allowances still hasn't got approved. Shoulda send'em early once I touched down.<br>
Many things happened, no doubt. BUT!! I still have my contract to worry about.</p>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12825296864880454104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7559726524614775018.post-67308348705599014052013-03-19T05:40:00.001-07:002013-03-19T05:40:32.394-07:00End it allAnd now it comes to a point, we'll just end it all.<br />
<br />
Just said there's nothin' good about me!<br />
The only good thing about me is able to solve her IT problems. How cruel is that?<br /><br />
She's been patient with me, faithful enough, trying to held on to this relationship that's not going anywhere. Yet the key problem is still me I guess.<br />
<br />
Oh well, she's gone. And now it's back to returning each other our gifts I supposed. If that's what she wants...<br /><br />
And now, I'm having many job opportunities. Anyway, I gotta stop all the whining and get my ass back to work.<br />
<br />
Having many things to see to, I'm starting to get a little way ahead of myself.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12825296864880454104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7559726524614775018.post-91939334045424285122013-03-10T05:45:00.001-07:002013-03-10T05:45:23.696-07:00Back to nothing again<p>So, what else is new?<br>
Till now, she just refuse to give me what I want.<br>
Just an answer to Yes or No if she really wants me to go. I will go, but I just want an answer.<br>
THAT'S IT! A fuckin' answer. But NOOOO!!!</p>
<p>She rather chose to make things hard again.  It's just a YES or a NO!!</p>
<p>She rather break it down to "Again" and "Up to you" and screw things up all over again.</p>
<p>All I wanted is just a simple "YES" and I'll let it slide.<br>
She CAN express herself, but she just DON'T WANT TO. Rather fuck it all up.</p>
<p>Yeah, everyone's been telling me that she's not even trying last night. I tried to get her to give me and answer. But Nooo~.<br>
It's always the usual "You can say what you want, up to you" line.<br>
It proves everyone's theory right.<br>
Now, as she said that she has strong feelings for me. Is it real? Is it even mutual? Why can't she try to make me feel it? Or just expect me to know what she's thinking overnight.<br>
I don't think so. I always told her to just say it out. Tell me something instead of those usual lines. And now she's asking me, What do I want?</p>
<p>Talking to her makes me feels as if I'm talking to a wall. I expect an opinion, discuss things just like any other couple.<br>
I want a second opinion. Instead of showing concern if I'll be busy, any difficulties in my leave application like what she used to, she'll just say "Up to you".<br>
And the reason was EPIC... that I should know as I'm already an adult.<br>
I was just trying to re-create the mood and feeling we had just as we started out in this relationship. I've been doing that for so long, and now all she can say is it's all Up to me??? Really?</p>
<p>Now I'm trying to keep this relationship alive. Knowing she's already stressed up, just trying to keep her happy and stuff. That's the least I could do. Now our relationship is a rocky patch. It isn't easy trying to keep up with a long distance relationship. I had to make it feel new, and fresh, and the most important of all, maintaining that same enthusiasm exactly when we first started out.</p>
<p>I'm having all kinds of stress over here too, my life isn't easy either. But enough about my stress, what about her stress.<br>
She told me about her principal seeing her. But she didn't even want to mention about her difficulties.<br>
She don't even want to inform me the first thing when she reached home I don't even know where she is ,worrying about her safety.<br>
By the time she is available to chat, I already am exhausted from the day itself.<br>
Just keeping myself occupied with thoughts of work is bad enough, followed by her safety.</p>
<p>I can't take this anymore. Seriously. I need an even higher dosage of medication, to counter my depression. I tried to think about the times we were so happy being together in Hong Kong. That is the only thing left to keep holding me back. The only thing I can focus on.<br>
I'm really exhausted, both emotionally and mentally.<br>
Can you imagine that with your partner just keep refusing to tell you anything just because you tend to over-reacted at times, but it's all just to show her concern?</p>
<p>I really am exhausted, trying to let it go.<br>
This morning, I keep telling myself. Screw the trip. If she doesn't want me to go that much, just focus on my job. I will never go for another trip ever again. I could have pay more for my debts instead of wasting money on air tickets so she can just fuck up my mood to see her.<br>
Don't like to Skype during lunch? No phone calls? Really?<br>
I tried very hard to resist having negative thoughts. But this is really emotionally taxing.</p>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12825296864880454104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7559726524614775018.post-7940131708235551472013-03-04T09:32:00.000-08:002013-03-04T09:32:07.829-08:00What else?Last Saturday, we had a fight again.<br />
Now, it has come to a rather limited mutual understanding of each other's needs.<br />
Just close one eye, and let it slip. Continue and resume the usual nonsense as before.<br />
<br />
Aaaand, the other news. Boss is sick, but still, he's cool.<br />
While I had Wendy's Beef Baconator once again! Boy it was good... But previously, it was better when it has triple patties instead of just 2. I won't mind paying extras for that thou.<br />
<br />
Did I mentioned that I just re-arranged my bedroom again? But hey, at least I managed to pushed my good'ol TV further back, with enough space for a laptop/keyboard.<br />
<br />
Booya!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12825296864880454104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7559726524614775018.post-5015731633852384332013-02-28T22:06:00.002-08:002013-02-28T22:06:47.420-08:00Baby ShowerOK! Big news!!<br /><br />
Simon, aka my Boss, aka good friend, is going to have a baby.<br />
One more entree for X'Mas!!<br />Oh yeah! Baby shower!!!<br />
<br />
Gotta save up for red packet and some gifts for it.<br />
<br />
NOW!!! What's next?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12825296864880454104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7559726524614775018.post-5593391834190830472013-02-27T15:09:00.001-08:002013-02-27T15:09:48.704-08:00Nothing Good<p>Nothing good came from her. Now she just lost my phone to some pickpocket.<br>
Yes, in CHINA, land of scumbags, I always said, just be careful. keep your hands in your pockets. She kept saying not everyone are as bad as I thought.<br>
We are living in dangerous times, especially when you're alone in the land of scumbags.</p>
<p>Dropped the idea of Shanghai trip. I don't think I want to get robbed blind anyway.</p>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12825296864880454104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7559726524614775018.post-82730404515974253112013-02-26T23:08:00.001-08:002013-02-26T23:08:47.444-08:00Care less, enjoy<p>Been enjoying my work and life. Not much into communicating with her anymore. Communication isn't just recording your smooches and keep saying the same thing. If she don't want to talk about problems and daily stuff, I'm out.<br>
I tried what I can, apparently its she who doesn't get it.<br>
She said I'm not even giving 40% even thou I'm giving everything. Now, i don't even care anymore.</p>
<p>Set a dinner appointment with someone else and enjoyed an evening of a conversation that includes common interests. Not just what we are about to do when I get there.</p>
<p>Anyway, it seems that I have to build another image based on 32-bit edition of Windows 7 by tomorrow. Gotta start all those tweakings. Handing the job to someone else is indeed a chore.</p>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12825296864880454104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7559726524614775018.post-60364281074865366042013-02-23T17:52:00.001-08:002013-02-23T17:52:10.845-08:00Tired<p>I am getting tired of caring and it goes unappreciated. I'm starting to take things slow. Anyone noticed the difference might just have to think WHAT THE HELL DO THEY WANT FROM ME?!</p>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12825296864880454104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7559726524614775018.post-31095517836656986382013-02-22T21:58:00.001-08:002013-02-22T21:58:36.818-08:00Time to put a stop<p>Been keeping myself busy with testing of new equipments, finally get things to run in Windows 7. Except for some Windows 8 only features.</p>
<p>A colleague gave me a piece of advice on my personal life. Do not bother with expensive gifts. And also, do not put all your eggs in one basket.</p>
<p>That kinda makes sense... and a few things I don't like, no matter how hard I tried to put up with it and move on..<br>
including, dislike children and old people, and 'friends' who meddle with my relationships, and using the F word on me FIRST!</p>
<p>You see, she's a rather contradicting person. She told me it disgust her that I'm having grudges and being insensitive... then again, I didn't see anything wrong with her pushing old women aside.<br>
As for her friends, did she really give up? I'm wondering. Then again, time to put myself back on the market, seek alternatives as plan B.</p>
<p>She didn't really bother to text me anyway, why should I bother much? Maybe giving my attention to other people seems like a better bet.</p>
<p>Care and concern for her family... All I did was plan to gave my nephew my old iPad, and she was like, why not give it to HER niece?<br>
Some kid I never met before, with an asshole as a mom.</p>
<p>Actually, I started to care lesser each and everyday. I'm trying not to put too much hopes onto this relationship. Maybe he's right, ya know?</p>
<p>A month ago, I would have bought her that Note 2 phone. Now? After all those insults from her friend? Nope. I'm keeping my wallet deep down in my pocket.</p>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12825296864880454104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7559726524614775018.post-70637167216425115792013-02-21T03:41:00.001-08:002013-02-21T03:41:38.155-08:00Give and Take<p>Just try to mellow down, think things thru perspective</p>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12825296864880454104noreply@blogger.com0