Sunday, August 17, 2014


I can't believe, that it took me 34 years to appreciate what my mom did for us.
All the sacrifices, which I didn't acknowledge. Instead, I've been an asshole in my entire life.
Only recently, I thought of it, and seeing that she's not getting any younger, made me feel worse than ever.
When I was younger, I was like "So what?". Now, it's like the biggest regret I've ever had.

And I paid her a visit last week, with some of her favourite fruits. She gave me an early birthday present despite everything that happened... [I see that you felt great remorse over that]
Every year she sent me birthday greetings, every year I ignored it. This sunk my heart even more. To make it worse, the present is a huge fraction of her income... ["Nothin' beats a mother's love" they say..]

I'm gonna give her something bigger this year, on top of a red packet.
I'm totally confused on why I used to do such things [ahhh... the wonders of youth]
I know. But I sucked as a son, and also as a youth. Many times I wish I could turn back time, and undo all those disappointments I've caused to her. [do you really thing it's a great idea?]
Yeah, that's all I've ever wanted deep down inside. I've failed her as the elder son. Now all I can do is to salvage the broken pieces, paying more attention to her and my brother.

And now, I've made another mistake... I gotta focus back in clearing my debts from next month onwards after my birthday trip. Stop trying to impress and do what I gotta do. Upgrading myself has been delayed for 4 years... Better not delay it any longer. [And the recent events, hope it's not gonna obstruct you in any way]

I don't really know if there's anything else I can do for them... just do what I gotta do.
[That's the most heartly talk you've had in years... *sob*]